


peace

by chaoticisms



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Coulson Lives, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:34:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26357299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticisms/pseuds/chaoticisms
Summary: where phil coulson and melinda may find their way back to eachother.
Relationships: Phil Coulson & Melinda May & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 16
Kudos: 41





	peace

**Author's Note:**

> Phil and Melinda finally go out to a cottage in Ireland learning how to enjoy the little moments in the present while reflecting how they got there. For the first time, they have time to figure it out. 
> 
> a lil (and i mean LIL) bit of smut towards the end.

Melinda leaned against the window frame slightly open, a soft cream blanket wrapped loosely around her as she watched the rain pour outside the window. She held the picture frame holding her last memory with her family, gifted by Daisy of course, as the very audible patter of the rain against the roof entranced her as all minor noises were being drowned by the sound of the downpour. 

***

_She always had a boss. A person to follow. Her north star._

_For three decades, she found her center in Phil Coulson. She never believed in anything fiercely except for him. He believed in the world, and she believed in him. She followed him to the depths of the earth trying to keep him safe._

_She was his protector, her religion. She was his rock, his foundation._

_Neither were mutually exclusive, it was quite the opposite. It was an anomaly to most SHIELD agents that one could not function without the other. It’s just how they’ve always worked._

_Then he died and left her behind, twice. And, she was lost without him each time._

_He never meant to die, but he had made peace with it the first time._

_Phil Coulson wanted to protect the world and keep her safe. As long as she was safe, she was protected, then his life wasn’t taken in vain. He could rest easy. He wasn’t obtuse to think she needed protection, but it was second nature to him._

_And then Fury gave him a second chance to protect her, keep her close. He didn’t feel worthy of it, but since it happened without his input, he wanted to make the most of it._

_Until he got himself killed a second time. He grappled with having to leave her behind again, but he finally found his religion in her. He felt grounded by her conviction, yet he still let go for the world to be saved. Because at the end of the day, he would give up anything to protect her._

_She would hate him for it, but she knew his mission was always her._

***

“I thought we would be able to do some exploring after breakfast, but I-” a voice behind her sighs before continuing “- think we’ll have to raincheck today’s adventures.” Phil broke the silence as he appeared with a steaming olive green mug as the aromatic tea wafted around the room. 

He leaned against the doorframe in his ratted Captain America shirt and plaid, checkered pajama pants, blue eyes trailing from the window to the woman he loved in front of it. It was quiet for a day in the middle of the week, a rarity that neither relished in for decades, but now chose to be surrounded by quiet days. 

The world might be ending, but for the moment, everything was peaceful. 

Her hair cascaded down her bare back as she turned only her head slightly to look at him, smiling and breathing out a small chuckle at his intentional word choice. 

“I think we can find other ways to entertain ourselves today, don’t you think?” Melinda responded, eyes finding their way back to the drenched cobblestone road in front of their cottage. She focused on the shimmering wet leaves on trees which managed to stand tall despite the battering of the storm.

She heard Phil’s footsteps coming closer and she could feel his presence next to her before she even realized that they were planted next to hers. She placed the frame onto the window sill and grabbed the mug, grinning as she took a sip and was delighted by the jasmine mix. Her favorite. 

Melinda’s shoulder brushed against his and he turned, smiled widely at the sight of her wrapped in a blanket and nothing else, the bits of the sun glowing through the grey clouds lighting up every ethereal line of her. 

He stretched out an arm and she slid under it, one hand holding the blanket and mug, the other sliding around his waist and pinning her to him, her body sought out his warmth as his hands found her shoulder and his lips pressed gently against her hair. 

***

_His eyes opened on a hospital bed in the Bus._

_He could still feel the sand stuck against the balms of his feet as the waves soothed his dull headache before he fell asleep for the last time. Phil wondered if it was his Heaven until an over-enthusiastic Jemma Simmons walked in with an iPad and lab coat rambling about how she stole the time drive from Fitz and her and Daisy meticulously planned an alternate timeline so that they could save him._

_Again._

_He didn’t ask this time, he already knew his time was unfinished on Earth. His eyes wandered looking for her, but Daisy answered his sneaking suspicions saying May no longer had clearance for missions such as this. He knew it was a bullshit answer, but she really was too scared to tell May in case they failed._

_“You deserved more time AC. You both do.” Daisy looked at him pointedly._

_Daisy told him they’d be landing at Coulson Academy in an hour and added that she hadn’t seen anyone since he had passed. No matter how much he wanted her to be happy after he had left, he knew she wouldn’t have moved on._

_Mack had lingered behind the door, waiting for Daisy to leave before entering._

_“Sir.”_

_“I think I should be calling you that now, Director.”_

_“Coulson, it’s good to have you back.” Mack stuck out his hand, waiting for Coulson’s to envelop his but it never came. He yanked Mack down for a hug which Mack immediately went limp into._

_“Seems like I can never leave.” Coulson laughed, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Death was his superpower. It rang through his ears knowing how true that was._

_“We needed you. She needed you.”_

_He sighed knowing that he had a final chance. Mack excused himself as Jemma updated him with all the experiences from his LMD self and felt like he had whiplash from all the new memories. She told him about Sarge, and how he killed May just like Loki had killed him. He felt sick._

_He managed a moment alone to process, but Daisy circled back before they landed. He tried not to but dissolved into tears as he attempted to tie his tie in the mirror._

_Melinda always did it better._

_He sat back on the bed, letting Daisy’s head fall onto his shoulder as she rubbed his back as he managed to gain some control._

***

They stood like that for what seems like an age until she shivered in the wind and he turned to face her. The crisp air wraps around them like an old blanket, and they felt its breath fill their lungs as the breeze carried the scent of rain into the room.

“Yeah, I think so.” He whispered against her ear as he broke the silence they had languidly relished in, his expression calm and unhurried. His fingers found hers in the space between them and laced them together. 

Melinda smiled. There was no rush. 

She was starting to believe that maybe this time she could be with him without her world imploding. Her hands reconnected with his body, starting off chastely underneath his shirt across his chest before starting to roam, and he felt the familiar beat of his rising longing for her, a fierce and uninhibited wanting that dissipated all his reticence and pushed him to tumble her onto her back and kiss her hard until she’s panting his name and pleading with him to give her everything. 

The lightning flashed outside and for a brief moment he got her in striking relief, lips parted and eyes lit with sudden blue-tinted luminescence, and as the thunder rolled through the sky he knew that that was final. 

Because he could go anywhere and she would love him anyway. 

But the look she gave him when he had got his hands in hers pinned above her head and they’re as close to each other as two people can be made him pretty sure she meant it when she wrapped her legs around him and told him that she’s his. 

***

_When she and Flint exited her last class of the day to the whirring of Zephyr Three, her eyes moved over the surface slowly because she wasn’t expecting a visit from Daisy this quickly. Flint already rushed towards the door hoping to be reunited with Mack. Melinda was steadfast, untrusting of the overload of emotions she was feeling._

_Melinda felt tears sting eyes, refusing to fall until she was certain. Everyone was lined up single-file as if they were children at a school. Well, she realized that they kind of were. Daisy's eyes couldn't keep a secret as the rest of the crew - her crew - hugged her one by one, excitement filling her veins. At the end of the line, there he was string back at her. Of course, he wore the black tuxedo like his return was a red carpet event. She assumed his LMD had left behind from last year. He hesitated before approaching her, radiating remorse and love._

_“You died.” She looked down, watching his thumb stroke over the back of her hand and she had a strange, tender yet fierce look in her eyes as she slowly lifted it, and pressed it gently against the skin over his heart, her skin feeling the foreign yet familiar surface absent of scar left by Loki’s scepter._

_“I know.” And he was sorry, again, for adding to her pain, forcing her to grieve him twice. He was sorry for leaving her behind._

_“You were dead.” He knew she could feel his heart thudding steadily under her palm, as if in direct protest against the ghost of his death still hung over her head._

_“I know.” Every brush of death he experienced was erased from his body, a clean slate._

_She grew still and quiet, her hand was still resting on his chest._

_It was like the earth turned on its axis, all at once a slow and steady constant and a titanic speeding force that drove their lives to seismic change._

_“I love you.”_

_The words hung between them for a moment as they remembered the first time she’d said them in the lighthouse. He took her hand and pressed a slow kiss to her palm._

_“I know.”_

***

Later he lied drowsily with her in his arms until the rain died down to a soft patter on the roof, and he looked at her looking back at him, and there was a moment of quiet conviction between them that was somehow the graceful denouement of all their troubles, the strange sort of moment where they’d come full circle and ended up exactly where they’re supposed to be. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he told her sleepily, and the corners of his mouth lift. 

“Me neither,” she said and she sighed and pressed herself closer before she fell asleep. 

Lying there beside him she didn’t do anything except make the whole eternity of his universe suddenly make sense like a compass that’s stopped spinning. He never understood why _he_ was always chosen to be saved, but as she melted into him, arms securing him in place, he realized why he always came back. 

It was always for her.

The world hadn’t erupted into chaos as they both sunk deeper into the serenity of their solitude. No one had been kidnapped and replaced by an android. There weren’t bullets flying at them as they kissed for the first time. It may have taken a hundred chances, Phil was always slow to realize, but they were always bound to always find their way back to each other no matter the circumstance.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly started writing this at like 3am a couple of weeks ago and kept changing whether or not to keep the italics, but I feel like there's so much trauma Melinda was never given the opportunity to work out for the last 2 seasons which was such a disservice. When May and Coulson finally find their way back to each other (whether they're LMDs or not), I know that residual trauma and pain are going to creep up, but hopefully, enough time had passed so Melinda could just begin to enjoy being happy with no forseeable expiration date. Anyways, I hope y'all enjoy :]


End file.
